A little piece of my heart.
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Courtney Dellafiora » xocourtney.com
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I will be honest, 2013 has been a challenging year. It has had several truly amazing moments and accomplishments, but it has definitely had some really difficult moments as well that definitely tried to conquer me. You never know what life is going to throw your way, but the important thing is to never let it beat you down. Trust me, I have my moments of feeling like a total failure and wanting to just give up on it all. I have had moments of being so betrayed and hurt, that I wondered if I would ever recover. And even though God gives me constant strength and peace to endure anything, the truth is… so much of my hurt is still there. I heal more every day, but it’s still there. There are some things in life I will NEVER understand. Like how you can love someone with ALL that you are, give them EVERYTHING and more, and they treat you like a rag doll… like I am so easy to just throw away or pick back up again. My value and worth has definitely been tested in every possible way. And it has been very hard to deal with. But no matter what, the truth is I will NEVER let anyone or anything tear me down or make me give up on life. I was given ONE life… and no matter what happens, I refuse to ever stop fighting for the best life I can possibly have. On Friday, I posted a “flip gram” on Instagram of several highlights of 2013. Right after one of my absolute dearest and oldest friends Bethany texted me this: “Just saw your flip gram. You know what’s amazing to me, NOBODY has the slightest clue what you’ve been through. They know you work hard to achieve your dreams, but seriously… the hardships you face? You just got out of a surgery and you’re counting your blessings. No one knows you had tears this morning, thankful for making it through. It’s amazing and admirable. I do wish people saw more of what I see though.” She is right. I tend to keep the difficult things I go through private from the world. Only allowing my close circle of friends to know what is going on. I do this because I never want to seem like I am complaining or looking for sympathy from the world. No matter how hard my life is, I know someone else always has it worse, so I keep it to myself. But Bethany had a point, more of the world should know the trials I face. My life is far from perfect, but I do feel so truly blessed every single day. Because God chose to give me another day of life, and that is what truly matters to me. When Bethany texted me that, I asked her if she wanted to share her perspective of a little of my life. She was awesome enough to share her very honest thoughts which I think will truly give you a little more insight and from someone who knows me really well inside and out. Dear fellow Dellafiora followers: Courtney just annoyed the crap out of me. Courtney made one of those 2013 “flipagram”-whatever-highlight reels with snapshots of her bff’s, accomplishments, selfies, and travels — all in fifteen seconds while bumpin’ to Rihanna. This isn’t unusual. The girl is constantly updating social media. She’s always sharing awesome photos, whether they be sneak peeks from her latest and greatest set (like UH a Water for Elephants shoot? Ah-mazing), or even just random, everyday snapshots from her life. There’s that loyal dog of hers, a boudoir studio complete with custom made furniture and backdrops, that sassy Range Rover, makeup and fashion statements…ugh. The list just goes on and on! She even has to be the definition of wanderlust while bombarding our news feed with images of Incan ruins, Grecian palaces, tiger temples in Thailand, Italian architecture, English gardens, and California sunsets. It’s ridiculous. The girl is unicorns and rose-colored glasses. Even the background wallpaper of her freaking cell phone is a landscape of fluffy pink trees that must have come from a fantasy dream sequence of a Japanese video game. From any outside perspective, a natural response to the life of Ms. Dellafiora is probably “Geeze, must be nice”. Some might even think, “Lord, this girl never stops with the whole ‘Chase Your Dreams’ speech”. Or maybe I’m just over-thinking it and what’s really going on in your head is just, “OMG! That LIPSTICK!” No matter what the opinion, either way you are here right now reading this because you’re either somewhat intrigued by the woman. You probably secretly hate her, or maybe you’re harboring a major girl crush while envying her designer glasses. Let me tell you a little about my friend and continue with why she I also think she is irritating. Our friendship started a little over fifteen years ago. Back then, we were both missionary kids in Peru. I looked up to her primarily because I was five years younger, and was at that awkward tween age where you’re still just trying to figure out how to use tweezers. Over time, I’ve watched her photography go from good, to great, to phenomenal. I remember the day she decided to quit her day job and work 24/7 to build her career. Since then, she hasn’t stopped pursuing her dreams — just as she accurately she preaches it. I know, I know…it’s not that uncommon. We all know someone ambitious who has worked hard to get what they want. But at least behind every success story there’s that series of unfortunate events to be elaborated upon, so that the rest of us can identify with it. But no, all this girl does is tattoo “be inspired” and “live the dream” on her wrists while sharing stories about bringing out the beauty in others. And yet… She has endured hardship after hardship, while fighting to achieve her dreams. Never complaining in the process, of course, rather, only showing off the winnings, making it look easy to the rest of us! She has given her heart to one person, just to watch it be punched, kicked, and beaten — over, and over, and over. Unconditional love has been Courtney’s motto and life force, despite years of pain, deception, and betrayal. She attributes it to God, and God alone when holding capacity for love even when she’s at her lowest. When she has a hundred reasons and excuses not to do something, she stays to committed to the tasks she’s set out to do. I’ve never seen her flake out on anything, or anybody. And what reaaaaaallllly ticks me off, and what urged this whole rant in the first place, is that the girl is so full of positive FLUFF while reminiscing of her “AWESOME” year, that she can’t even tell you that she uploaded the freaking thing just ONE HOUR after getting out of surgery for a bad growth on her cervix. Only minutes before, she was in tears over the gratitude of being alive, and then she goes on to post this girl-power salute to an amazing 2013. While the rest of us are requesting prayer for the common-cold, this girl is going straight from the hospital back to work to make dreams happen and make the most out of her life, despite the trials that are thrown in her face. Success doesn’t get dropped in your lap. You have to work for it. I’ve learned this from my friend and hope you do, too. Where we see mudslides and tornadoes, she sees rainbows and dewdrops. And a unicorn. It’s freaking annoying. And inspiring. To Courtney: Thank you for being an example of perseverance and hope through trying times. However, please be more open with us (the #1 fans) about your life so that we don’t feel like we suck for not being just like your super fairy-princess alter-ego. Best Friends Forever! Bethany I love you Bethany!!! Thank you for loving me, being the best friend a girl could ever want, and for showing me it’s okay to be more open about the hardships I face in life. I don’t know what I would do without your constant support, prayer, love and TRUE friendship. Like I said earlier, even though 2013 has been challenging, it’s also been freaking amazing. I bought my dream car and my dream house all in 2013. I am SO excited about starting a whole new life in a brand new home… with fresh and new memories. The best part is it is all mine mine mine!!!! I made it happen, on my own… because I choose a life of beauty, no matter what ugly things are thrown my way. No one is stopping this girl from living the dream. Ever. If you have had a difficult year as well, I encourage you to let it all go today. Tomorrow is a brand new year and a brand new start. You can do it. If I could tell you to do ONE thing, it’s to LOVE YOURSELF. And never ever stop. xo
Courtney
Never a dull moment in the life of this girl. Life is just crazy… but crazy good to be honest. I have to remind myself sometimes to just stop and breathe, relax, clear my mind. I am an extremely hard worker go-getter type. I am always thinking about how I can better myself and my business so my mind is always running wild with new ideas and dreams. You’d think I would probably never sleep. But because my mind literally does not stop all day long, I’m exhausted by the time I lay my head on my pillow and I sleep really well. So much going on in my life. But I wanted to stop and take a moment to just type. Write a little. Share some of the tidbits of what’s going on lately in my world. I have begun a new adventure of building a brand new business. I have so many ideas for businesses but this one is definitely the next step to furthering my life and success. I am SOOOO EXCITED about it! It’s going to be a long journey until it’s up and running. But when it finally is, it will be worth all of the hard work to get there. I cannot wait til the day comes that I announce this new baby of mine. I think you’ll be impressed. I am currently in the process of buying my first house. BOY OH BOY I am excited! I cannot wait to get in it and put my little magic all over it. It will be my little safe haven, my home sweet home, my place of peace and rest. Buying a house was never really that big of a priority to me, but all of the sudden I decided it was time. I have truly enjoyed my fabulous Sex and the City style apartment and lifestyle. But now I am at a point in life where I am definitely so ready to have something that is all mine. My cozy little home. Cannot wait. I just hired a brand new office manager for the studio. I am excited for her future with us. I received tons of applications and interviewed 14 girls, but there was one who just stood out to me. Interviewing is always such a hard process for me… it’s such a huge decision you know. But I always just follow my heart and gut when choosing, and I just know she is going to be a great fit to our little team. Our government is completely whack. So whack that it has completely shut down. God help us. It really could be so easy to get scared and worry about what our country and future is coming to, but I just always remind myself that NO MATTER WHAT, God is in control. Even if it feels like he is not. Knowing I have him on my side through anything, is what gives me daily peace. I am not worried at all. Because no matter what I am going to keep moving forward, keep building, keep dreaming, keep accomplishing. I know that the best is yet to come. Even though life can be so crazy and challenging at times, I am always so grateful on a daily basis to all that I have. God is so good to me. I would be nothing without him. I am BEYOND grateful for his daily blessings. I am grateful for each breath of air he gives me. I am so grateful for my friends. They make life fun and so much better. It’s so amazing watching each of them grow up with me, seeing them make their dreams come true, creating memories together. I love them. Until next time blog. xo, Lately:
August 9, 2013 This past Friday I was in California for my best friend, Bethany’s wedding. It was such a special memory, as I got to be her maid of honor for this extremely beautiful occasion. I was absolutely thrilled to stand at her side and support her on her special day. She and I have spoken of her wedding day for yearssss…. even way before either of us were old enough to have a serious relationship. I can’t even express in words how much it meant to be a part of it and how truly beautiful the entire day was. The day started with just me and Bethany. I went with her to her hair and makeup appt and then we dashed to her hotel to get dressed. We were running behind with time because her hair/makeup appt lasted longer than it should have, so we both literally got dressed and ready in 10 minutes and then got picked up by a car together and headed to the venue. It was the fastest I have ever seen a bride and maid of honor get ready in my life. Haha… it was epic. But super special because it was just us two. No one else. Bethany and I have shared hundreds of adventures together and I feel like this was just another one to add to our list. We loved it. We were laughing the whole way to the venue. It was the most gorgeous day in Cali and when we arrived to the venue, everything was set up and just stunning. Both of our jaws dropped as we saw everything and Bethany immediately started tearing up. Let me just say, this girl worked SO HARD the last few months to create a vision that was perfect for her and Jesse. She did it on an extremely limited budget. I have obviously seen hundreds of weddings and I was honestly just so blown away and impressed with what Bethany created on what she had to work with. I seriously have the MOST talented and creative friends in the world. I am still just so proud of her. It was First Look time for her and Jesse. I walked her to the location and then let her go… she was practically running and jumping the whole way there. I could not keep this girls feet on the ground. She was the happiest and most giddy bride I’ve ever seen and she could not wait to see her groom. It was SO CUTE. It was not only so special to be a part of her day, but it was super amazing for me to experience being IN a wedding instead of working it. Her photographer did a great job and I was just having so much fun getting to be a part of this day. The ceremony was PERFECT. Her brother and father directed and conducted the ceremony and another bridesmaid sang a beautiful, soft version of The Beatles’ “I want to hold your hand” while they had an intimate communion. The bride and groom fought tears the entire ceremony. It was amazing to witness my best friend committing her life to her best friend and man she truly loves and who truly loves her back. The reception was absolutely perfect as well. Everything was just great. I loved every moment and my favorite part was how much Bethany and Jesse were enjoying it. They were so happy and having SO much fun and it made my heart so so happy to see. The best man and I each gave a speech. Below is mine. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that true, real friendship is like a rare exquisite jewel. It’s beauty is priceless. When you find it, you cherish it deeply for you know just how special it truly is. For there is nothing quite like a true friend. Bethany came into my life when she was 11 yrs old. Even though I was 5 years older than her, we hit it off instantly. We were two peas in a pod. Sisters immediately. We were together every chance we got. We would spent countless hours sharing our hopes and dreams and many more laughing about silly things no one else thought was funny. Bethany’s intelligence and witty humor were what drew me to her instantly but even more than that, it was her beautiful heart. Something I knew was there from day one. She possessed talent and wit beyond her years, but her ability to show compassion and constant unselfishness was inspiring. She was the type of person you always wanted to be around because if she wasn’t making you laugh, she was pushing you to be a better person with her constant words of encouragement. We have grown closer and closer over all these years and everyday that passes, I am truly more and more grateful that God allowed us to cross paths so many years ago. Bethany has always been there for me and for so many others. I know she was created with a heart of gold and I am so happy she found Jesse because she certainly deserves all the love in the world. Jesse, I have truly enjoyed getting to know you and seeing how deeply you love my Bethany Rose. It’s pretty obvious you were both meant for each other. Every time Bethany has spoken of you, she has always bragged about how good you are and what a kind heart you have. I can completely see that as well. It makes my heart so happy to know Bethany found you, a man who shares the same heart of gold she has. You are both so full of love, and you deserve all the happiness life brings you. Bethany it has been so indescribably amazing to watch you grow into the exquisite woman you are. I am beyond honored to be here and to be your friend for life. I love you. I wish you both the most amazing life… The greatest adventure. Always remember to put God first, then each other. Bethany remember to respect your husband and Jesse never forget to love your wife. If you can both always remember this, you will live the most beautiful story and greatest adventure ever. I love you both. Cheers! xo
I absolutely loved my bridesmaid dress!
I’m not your ragdoll
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by courtney